Abstract Random

In happier news... The amazing folks who organized the Infinite Jest online book club/support group are doing the same thing for Bram Stoker's Dracula over the month of October. I really enjoyed my Infinite Jest experience and if I'm going to read a vampire book it would be this one (sorry, Twilight) so I'm going to read along again. I even convinced Arun to do it. You should, too! Check it out.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words of sympathy and support, they are very much appreciated. It's been a rough couple of weeks, with more hard times ahead.

Starla's still hanging in but she's really not herself and it's obvious she's nearing the end so we have made the decision to put her down. We want her last moments to be as comfortable as possible so we've arranged for our vet to make a house call on the evening of October 6.

I know it's absolutely the right and humane decision and I know we're not being premature about it but it is still a really fucking awful decision to have to make. I have never felt so sad in my life. My heart physically aches. I've stopped closing my office door when I cry at work because everyone there has seen me cry this past week at least once already, there's no point in trying to hide it.

I'm focusing on making Starla's final days happy for her, which basically means letting her do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. You want to run out in the hallway? I'm late for work but ok. You want to be up on my shoulders while I'm trying to get ready/work/cook/eat? It's totally not comfortable, you're going to chew on my hair and/or sneeze on it and probably scratch my neck/back/shoulders but, yeah, ok. You want me to put one knee up to make a little tent for you under the covers in the wee hours of the morning? I'm not going to get any sleep but for you, ok. Etc.

Nothing makes her happier than lying in the sun. Unfortunately, I can't control the weather but I sure hope there are lots of sunny days for her over the next couple of weeks.

We got bad news from the vet. Starla doesn't have a urinary tract infection, which means her kidneys are finally giving out. We've got her back on the appetite stimulant to make her more comfortable and to give us a little more time with her. She hasn't got a lot of time left and we don't want her to deteriorate to the point where she's suffering but we're hoping we'll have a few more weeks together.

I'm devastated. It's going to be a rough few weeks so if things are quiet around here, you know why.

Hey Apple,

You know I love you, right? Ok. But you know what? Your earphones are pissing me off.

My standard iPhone earphones have a mic and a little button to answer the phone but no volume or music control abilities, despite the presence of the same mechanism that provides those functions for iPods. Those little + and - buttons do nothing but taunt me every time I want to, you know, adjust the volume or skip a track. Which for me is all the time.

I'd have to spend $89 in order to get a pair of earphones that let me control the music on my iPhone. Eighty-nine dollars! Judging from the photo on your website, those earphones also have the exact same mechanism with the exact same little + and - buttons. Sure, the sound quality is probably better—it can't be worse—but WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE THE THINGAMABOB WORK ON YOUR STANDARD EARPHONES?!

I've already forked over a ton of money for the iPhone, I spend money in the app store, and I'm not even going to go into how much I've spent on music. And now you want me to fork over another $89 on earphones just so I can have the same basic functionality as the standard headphones that come with your iPods? That's just not cool.

Sincerely yours,
Kerri

Starla's had a rough month. She's been largely off her food and losing weight and not doing well. At first we thought her rotten tooth was bothering her again so we had her on antibiotics for it for a couple of weeks but they weren't really helping.

I brought her to the vet last Friday. In addition to doing the usual blood and urine tests, they also gave her an appetite stimulant that made her seriously batty for a couple of days. We were deprived of many hours of sleep but she was eating and active. We'll see how her appetite is over the next few days and whether or not we need to keep her on the appetite stimulant. If so, we'll maybe try half doses and hope that doesn't make her as crazy.

The vet called on Saturday with the results of Starla's blood test, which weren't good. One of the indicators they look at for kidney function is creatinine; high-normal is 170, Starla's creatinine is over 1,000. In March it was 470. Like I said, not good.

However, it is possible that she also has a urinary tract/kidney infection that may be contributing to her high creatinine level. And, if so, it could come down a bit once the infection is cleared up. They strongly suspected an infection based on the preliminary results of her urine test and gave her a shot of antibiotics on Friday but we're still waiting for the final diagnosis.

The waiting is tough. I know it's only a matter of time regardless but if she doesn't have an infection and her kidneys are just that bad, she's not going to have long. I thought I'd be slightly better equipped to deal with this after her downturn and subsequent comeback in the spring, and chances are she does have an infection but it's still really hard and weighing heavy on my heart and mind. Here's hoping she's able to make another comeback.

All my mental energy is being zapped by a monstrous project at work and will continue to be for the next few weeks or so. So, I'm too tired/scattered to tell you about my long weekend (but I will tell you to go see Extract), or talk about food, or lament on Starla's latest downturn (we're taking her to the vet on Friday). I can, however, provide distraction in the form of an assortment of cute/cool videos because, really, isn't that what the internet is for?

Japanese ukulele puppets!

Kermit as David Byrne!

Long exposures of bugs under a street light (cooler than it sounds).

Ugh, I think I may have also killed my office plant. I must have forgotten to water it before I left for the weekend on Thursday and found it looking like this yesterday morning.

Oops. I promptly watered it but it hasn't sprung back like I hoped it would. I think it may be a goner. I should just get fake plants from now on...

Um, what else is new? Arun and I went to Imperial for dinner the other night. It's a cozy neighbourhood spot with amazing comfort food. You should check it out if you haven't already.

You should also check out Adventureland, which is now out on DVD. It's been my favourite movie this year and not just because there's a Jesus and Mary Chain song on the soundtrack.